'Dementia: A Journey with my Mother'
I remember sitting down as a young man to map out my career - oh for
the enthusiasm and naivety of youth! Only time and experience teach
us that we are not in control of our own destiny. This is especially
true when it comes to health.Two years ago my sprightly 84-year-old mother could be found at Yoga
classes, she swam, drove her Ford Fiesta with gusto and played a
reasonable standard of Bridge. In March things went horribly wrong:
she had a stroke and was taken into hospital.
From that time on she has never returned to her home and as her
condition has deteriorated she has moved from hospital to
residential home to nursing home: such is the progressive nature of
what has now been confirmed as Alzheimer's Disease.
It is so sad to see such a vibrant force reduced little by little. I
came across her well- used walking shoes the other day, holding them
casually I realised they would not be worn again. Now bruises seem
to appear overnight where my mother has banged herself on the
furniture.
If this all sounds very sad, it is out of adversity and pain that
sometimes springs something good and uplifting.
It was my mother's birthday recently and my wife and I smuggled a
small bottle of champagne into her room (not encouraged but
definitely her favourite tipple). We cheered her 86th birthday and
haltingly and with some struggle for words, my mother told us of her
experiences with her friend Edith as a young girl in pre-war
Budapest. The pastiche of this time of her life emerged slowly but
vividly: dancing with her handsome young boyfriend, sailing on the
Danube with her friends, teaching English in a well to do household
to a young girl.
I will treasure the learning of things not known before and remember
the picture of her surrounded by flowers busily searching a box of
chocolates for her favourites.
Another bonus has been the contact with those who are described as
'carers'. Sitting in my mother's room I have listened as a carer
slowly, carefully and with infinite patience encouraged a resident
to eat a small amount of food. A woman in the next room to my mother
is paralysed from the neck down, her husband will read to her for
hours day in day out. I can still hear his soft and rhythmic voice
and admire his devotion. I realise carers are no more perfect than
the rest of us yet I am profoundly impressed by their intuitive
dedication, warmth and concern. My mother has been lucky to be in
good hands.
What of those of us, family and friends who share this sometimes sad
and harrowing journey. As my father in law suffered from
Alzheimer's, I have a fair idea of what is still to come and I am
filled with apprehension for my mother. Yet my life has been
influenced very much for the better through my contact with
Alzheimer's.
When my father-in-law died, I was determined to do something to help
the Alzheimer's cause. I had known Gordon King for many years. Apart
from being this country's foremost watercolour artist, he is a warm,
lively and compassionate individual.
At the same time I approached Darcey Bussell to ask her to sit for
Gordon with the intention of raising money through the sale of
limited edition prints. A significant part of the revenue would go
to Alzheimer's. After some discussions and to my great delight and
excitement, Darcey agreed to the project. Her friendliness and
warmth throughout sit well with her beauty and fame.
Where are we today? Well we have set up a company called Ever
English ltd which sells 3 outstanding limited edition prints of
Darcey Bussell: In Rehearsal and two studies in performance -
Serenade and La Bayadere. A minimum of £50 per print goes either to
the Alzheimer's Society or Alzheimer Scotland. These are
individually signed both by Gordon and Darcey and sold from my home
in Gerrards Cross, or over the internet at
http://www.everenglish.org.uk
It has been wonderful to be involved in the world of art and ballet:
watching Gordon King at work in his studio: sitting with Gordon as
the only observers in rehearsals when Darcey Bussell dazzled and
captivated: an exciting if rather awesome launch at the Royal Opera
House with Darcey's parents in attendance: meeting the dedicated
Alzheimer's team at their London Headquarters.
I feel I have been brought into contact with some lovely people
through my mothers suffering: care workers, nurses, Gordon King,
Darcey Bussell, Janine at the Royal ballet press office and many
others. This is not to demean or lessen my mothers' illness but I
feel she would be pleased if she could understand my exhilaration at
getting the Alzheimer print project off the ground.
If you are interested in the prints please contact:
Ever English Ltd
31, Howards Wood Drive
Gerrards Cross
Buckinghamshire
SL9 7HR
Tel/Fax: 01753 891455
email:
everenglish@supanet.com
website:
http://www.everenglish.org.uk
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